When it comes to building trust with a partner and helping them trust you, it’s important to ask hard questions. However, it’s also important to ask these questions at appropriate times.
While it may be difficult to bring up certain topics and you may hesitate to broach subjects that might be “off limits” in normal conversation, asking and answering these questions will provide a foundation of truth upon which you can build your loving relationship.
Ask the Questions
Sometimes, hard questions are simply things you want to know about your partner but are afraid to ask. These can include questions about their past, such as past relationships and family dynamics, as well as questions about their future, such as goals and aspirations.
Asking these sorts of questions can be challenging because it takes the relationship to the next level. If you’re comfortable in a casual relationship, it can be tough to make any move that might disturb that dynamic. Additionally, asking these questions may reveal things about your partner that are difficult to hear, such as not being completely over an ex or having ongoing issues with family. While you’ll have to work through difficult issues with any long-term partner, facing them can be challenging.
Answer Questions
It’s not just you who needs to ask hard questions in order to build trust and commitment in the relationship. Your partner also has a need to do so, and you should try to be open to the things they want to know about you.
It can be even harder to answer questions than it is to ask them. If there are aspects of your life that you know will be difficult for your partner to accept or that might cause them pain, answering questions about those subjects can be scary. There may also be painful moments in your past that you rarely talk about. The thought of discussing them with someone, especially someone whose good opinion you value, can bring back the original pain. If your partner truly cares about you, revealing these things may also cause them pain.
Despite the discomfort, it’s important to talk about these things if you want to build real trust with your partner. If they are willing to work through difficult issues and stand by you even when you’re hurting, you will be more likely to want to commit to loving them. The same is true for your partner.
In the end, the conversations that result from asking hard questions can be some of the most valuable parts of your relationship. They may seem scary and difficult before you have them, but they will ultimately become some of the basic building blocks of trust in your relationship.
